Good communication is one of the most important things in a family.  When your teen or any family member comes to you, whether it’s with a problem, to share a proud moment, or just to relate how their day went (good, bad, or in-between), really listening is the very best way to let him/her know you care. Learning to listen to problems is especially important, because we want our kids coming to us when it really counts. We want them to talk to us so we know what’s going on and so we can help them. 

But sometimes our desire to help can get in the way of doing what is actually most helpful (that’s right, just LISTENING). Our knee-jerk responses that involve giving reassurance when our child expresses doubt, or giving advice when that isn’t what’s being asked for, can in the long run make it less likely our child will come to us in the future. 

Try to tune into the emotion your child is expressing in addition to the content of what they’re saying. Check with them for understanding by saying things like, “Sounds like you’re feeling _______ because of __________.”  Ask what they want.  “Is there some way I can help you?  I’m happy to just listen if that’s what you want.”  Encourage them to brainstorm solutions.  “Do you have any ideas about how you might handle the situation?”